Quotations that make life sound simple

"I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do for any fellow being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again."
"There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."
"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
"I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody."
"Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you view them"
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."
"The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you and still likes you."
"Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten."
"Jealousy: that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive"
"You can accomplish by kindness what you cannot do by force."
"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who'll never find out."
"Men always want to be a womans first love; women have a more subtle instinct: what they like is to be a mans last romance."
"An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband."
"Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity."
"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents."
"The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn't hear the referee."
"Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say."
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
"Money, like dung, does no good till 'tis spread."
"You must never 'find' time for anything. If you want time you must make it."
"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
"He who does not hope to win has already lost."
"The worse the passage, the more welcome the port."
"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get."
"Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow can take care of itself"


"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew."





(Try and get a history teacher to explain this.)


Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946


Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.


Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.


Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.


Both presidents were shot on a Friday.


Both Presidents were shot in the head.


Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.


Both were assassinated by Southerners.


Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.


Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.


John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.


Both assassins were known by their three names.


Both names are composed of fifteen letters.


Lincoln was shot at the theatre named 'Ford'

Kennedy was shot in a car called a 'Lincoln' made by Ford.


Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in warehouse.

Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.


Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.


Creepy, huh?